


Alone In the Dark

by dakotajace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drug Use, Isolation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dakotajace/pseuds/dakotajace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a pretty lonely world when your only companion is an A.I. reflection of yourself and your only remaining family has abandoned you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Woke Up Older

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I woke up older_  
>  Carrying two years in the bags under my eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, so this story is based off of a chat i had with someone, and i really hope you guys enjoy!

_Dirk was outside, sitting on the front porch. This was the porch to his old home, his_ parents _home. There was an odd twist in his stomach, a longing that he hasn’t felt in years. He stood up, looking around. The street in front of him was completely barren, not a car or person in sight. This was strange, and he felt very offset.He decided to head inside, maybe he’ll find someone there._

_And he did. At the familiar dining room table, there were his parents and his brother. His brother looked slightly younger, and his parents.. They didn’t move. When Dirk entered the room, only his brother turned to look at him. “Your fault,” the man - boy spoke._

_“Excuse me?” Dirk was taken aback, and slightly frightened. Did he mean what Dirk thought he meant? No, no he couldn’t. Please don’t let it be what thinks._

_“Your fault,” he repeated. Dirk blinked, his hands getting sweaty. This isn’t happening, this isn’t real it’s just a dream. Wake up, Dirk, wake up!_

_“No. Shut up.” He meant for his voice to come out stern, but instead it came out shaky, weak._

_“Your fault!” His brother’s voice had gotten louder, and now he was on his feet. It looked like in the span of time that it took for him to stand up, he had aged. Aged to where Dirk knew him now, and that frightened Dirk even more._

_“Shut up! No it’s not!” Dirk had yelled back. He was taking steps back, wanting to leave the house but not able to find the will to run. In turn, Dallas was taking a step forward for each one Dirk took back._

_“Stop running, little brat,” he snarled. He looked angry, something that Dirk was all too familiar with. He slapped his hands over his ears, the only thing he could think of to block himself from hearing this._

_“Fuck off! Leave me alone!” Dirk had almost started screaming. He could feel his legs shaking and his knees almost give out underneath him. He started chanting a mantra of ‘wake up, wake up’ to himself._

_“It’s your fault they died! It’s your fault I’m stuck with you!” Dallas screamed over Dirk’s only barricade._

Please just let it end, let it all stop, _Dirk thought to himself. His knees had finally given out, and he was curled up on the ground in the fetal position. Shivers and quakes racked through him, whimpers of fear threatening to spill over._

_“How fucking pathetic. You can’t even fight for yourself, you just curl up and give in. So pathetic,” his brother hissed at him. Dirk looked up, almost ready to spit at him, when he saw Dallas’ shoe rear back, ready to kick him in the face. His whole body tensed, ready for the impact-_

 

Dirk jerked awake, his body convulsing at the sudden jump to awareness. It took him more than just a moment to adjust his breathing, reminding himself that it was just a dream. As much as it did seem real, and as much as it did seem like something totally plausible, he had only dreamt it. 

When he had finally calmed himself enough, he ran a hand through his hair and slumped back down onto his bed with a groan. That was three times this week that he had a dream like that, his parents and his brother screaming at him. Dirk was starting to get used to it, it was just another thing to add to the pinboard of fucked up things that happen to him. He might need to buy himself a new little pinboard soon, this one was filling up pretty quick.

There was a beep at his side, and he groaned again. No, fuck no, he was not in the mood. Another beep, and Dirk mumbled, “Fuck you.” He didn’t have to look at his computer if he didn’t want to, and like all hell did he want to. Not ever, if it meant looking at the bullshittery that Hal sends to him. But of course, the useless program could speak out loud to him. Could he ever escape? 

_Good morning, Dirk. Isn’t it just beautiful today? Birds chirping, children laughing, and the underlying void that fills one’s being after having their parents die and brother practically abandon them. Just smells like a good day!_ The program had sung to him. Hal’s assholery was already tacked into the Fuckery Board, and him talking about Dirk’s parents wasn’t the lowest he’s ever gone. Not in the slightest. 

“One day, on some random whim, I will shut you down for good. I will erase every and all trace of you in existence, and I will be free of your useless programming. One day, Hal, one fucking day,” Dirk grumbled into his pillow. He debated for a second on whether or not he actually wanted to get up and do Normal People things, or if he wanted to just lay in bed all day and be useless to himself and society like he always is. The latter was severely tempting. 

_Let’s be real here, you’re too lonely and too scared of complete and utter abandonment to do that. That’s why you made me in the first place. Sure, you have your one or so online friends, but how often do you even talk to them? Once a week? You won’t get rid of me, Dirk, as much as you hate me._ The smugness in his tone pissed Dirk off, even moreso knowing that this was just a program. A fucking smug program. 

“Maybe that’s true, but for the time being I can just shut you off. Shut you up for a good hour so I can actually do something without your constant need to remind me how useless and pathetic I am. Not even sure I modeled you after myself anymore, I think I had some underlying need to make you after my brother. And to that I say, fuck you both.” He had decided to do something relatively productive with himself, so he sat up and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. When his bare soles made contact to the wood floor, he shivered and almost retreated. 

_Oh, poor Dirk and his family issues. Let’s call Dr. Phil and see what he can do for you. Should I look for his number? Maybe we can set something up so you and your brother can talk to each other on camera about your issues. Would you like that, you poor little baby?_ The tone had switched to one of mockery, and Dirk actually saw the monitor of his computer start to move. The fuck was seriously searching for a way to get into contact with Dr. Phil. 

“Surprisingly, I hate you more than I hate myself.” He decided not to grab the bait of Hal being an asshole, but instead he switched off his computer, cutting Hal’s search short and also shutting him off almost completely. Instead, to continue his bullshit antics, the program had to retreat itself to the shades that were resting on Dirk’s dresser. 

The beeping that came from them didn’t phase Dirk, and as much as he was tempted to just pick them up to even have some company, he brushed off all of those feelings and stood up. With a deep breath and some stretching, he started to get ready for the day.


	2. I Don't Like Who I Was Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'll feel better when the headaches go away_   
>  _I got a scar across my forehead, turning purple in the cold_   
>  _From a night at Shore Memorial_   
>  _I was 16 and afraid_

With his bangs pinned out of his face, Dirk had started working on his breakfast. He had found two eggs that were left over in the fridge, so he dug out their only skillet and turned on the gas stove. The silence in the house was something that Dirk had gotten used to, it was just what came with being alone almost every day.

When his eggs were finished, he dumped them onto a paper plate and placed the cooking utensils in the sink after rinsing them off. He decided to eat in his room, as the house felt too empty and big around him. Dirk shut the door with his foot and sat down on the shabby computer chair, setting the plate down on his desk as he flipped the computer monitor back on.

 _Do you really think that leaving me alone is punishment? I have access to the whole internet, I could hack into Beyonce’s twitter if I wanted. This is more punishment for you than it is for me, Dirk,_ the program told him as soon as it had begun running. _He didn’t even wait a minute,_ Dirk thought.

“Having to listen to you and having to listen to the silence are both shitty, but I think I’d rather just grin and bear you trying to get under my skin as I busy myself with staring meaningfully at the screen to fill my brain with more useless bullshit,” he mumbled in response, opening his internet browser.

Dirk shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth, then scrunched his eyebrows together. “I should have checked the expiration date on those,” he stated as he spit them back out onto his plate. Hal began to laugh at him, the sound sounding scratchy as it was coming through his computer speakers.

 _Unable to withstand the taste of rot to feed your meat sack? Guess it’s your time to finally starve to death. Don’t worry Dirk, I’ll have someone build a body for me so I can take your place in this world. It was bound to happen eventually._ He sounded smug again, and Dirk just rolled his eyes.

“Why would anyone in their right mind even give an A.I. a sentient body? That’s just like in every bad scifi movie, that’s ‘What Not To Do 101’. I think that’s even the first rule; don’t give the asshole computer program a body.” Dirk pushed the plate of eggs to the side, not completely interested in trashing them just yet. He wanted to float around through the internet for a while longer, it’ll save him from thinking about how he’s going to get food later. 

_If that’s rule number one, then you broke rule zero; don’t create an asshole computer program. Are you being a hypocrite, Dirk? Are you allowed to break the rules but no one else? That’s not very nice of you. I’ll be a better Dirk in your place, no hypocrisy here. Only world domination._ Hal pulled up a page on his screen that had the definition of ‘hypocrite’ on it, then quickly made work of editing it so that instead of the actual definition, it said ‘Dirk Strider’.

“Stop fucking with the internet, I get it, you can edit the dictionary. Whoopee for you, I don’t give a fuck. Let me have my mouse back,” he huffed. Hal was moving his cursor around the screen in very random directions now, not even letting him click out of the screen that was pulled up.

 _How am I supposed to entertain myself without making your life hell, Dirk? Is watching you check your messages - which you have none - and scroll through your sad Tumblr page supposed to be entertaining? It’s just pathetic, Dirk._ The program had let go of his cursor, so Dirk was finally able to exit the Dictionary tab.

Hal wasn’t completely wrong, he hadn’t received any messages from Jake or Roxy in a few days. It was numbingly pathetic, but else did he expect? They both had actual lives, went to actual school and had actual families that cared about them. Why would they waste their time on a clingy, depressed kid who had nothing better to do that be on the internet? Dirk was just a hermit, he didn’t understand why they talked to him at all. Not like he was going to complain, however, he’d take their company at any time he possibly could. 

“You could just go fuck yourself, Hal.” Dirk was just irritated at this point, was staying and listening to this really worth it? Probably not, Dirk needed food soon, as his stomach had started to speak to him in angry tongues.

 _Well, you asked for it Dirk._ And with that, pages on his screen started flying open. All of them were porn websites, some of them pulling up pop-ups of their own. Dirk’s computer was running at the slowest speed it could with everything that was open, even Hal’s voice in the speakers seemed to be slowing down. “Consider this me fucking myself.”

“I swear to fucking god if this gives my computer a virus, I’m ending you!” Dirk yelled before shutting down his computer once more. That was the final straw, and the motivation he needed to get up off his ass and actually go looking for something to eat. Preferably, something not rotting.

Quickly, Dirk changed his clothes and fixed his hair. He didn’t have a choice, if he was going outside, he needed to put on his shades. He didn’t need anyone staring at him because of his eyes, people already did that when they saw him go dumpster diving. _Grin and bear it, he can’t pull up porn sites on your shades,_ he told himself before sliding them on. 

_They always come back to me,_ the program had typed. Dirk just rolled his eyes before grabbing his bag, sliding on his shoes, and walking out.


	3. Won't Be Pathetic Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The party starts at nine p.m. at which ever house is close and vacant  
>  We'll call the ten friends we've got left to pretend we've got a life_

With a bag slung over his shoulder and his shades perched on his nose, Dirk walked around downtown with his eyes cast to the ground. There was no need to draw attention to himself, or well, any more than he probably already has. Being so short, being dressed in such raggedy clothing already brought him enough stares, he didn’t really need any more. 

Dirk’s pants had gone through many attempts at being sewn back up in some places, mostly at the back and the upper thigh, but they were just so worn out they were beyond saving. At least those could pass as _kind of_ fashionable, but the shirt was another story. It was stained and faded so much that Dirk had actually forgotten what the original design or color of the shirt was. He thinks it was blue. Pretty sure it was blue. Maybe.

He had completely given up on imaging what people were thinking in their heads as they passed by him, all it did was depress him even further and make him want to turn straight around and book it home. A few times, he actually had, and Hal had made fun of him for being such a crybaby. Now, though, he cares about the way people stared at him. The confusion in their eyes, the disgust in some of them, and the pity in most of them. It made him sick, which is why his own were cast to the ground as he walked. But Dirk could never knock away the feeling of eyes boring into him. He felt, sometimes, like there were holes in him for just how much people stared at him. 

The only solace he got while he was out was when he found an alleyway with dumpsters lining the graffitied walls. Not a lot of people dared to go back there, fear of bodily harm is a sane and rational reason to avoid it. Of course, though, Dirk didn’t really have any sort of care or worry about his physical being, so he’d always go down and explore without hesitation. Anything to take him away from the stares and promise him of some interesting finds. 

The best place, to Dirk, to explore is near antique shops. Though, that only is when he’s not looking for food, and then it’s a certain burger place that always has large containers of half eaten dinners. Why anyone would want to trash those wonderful creations, Dirk would never know. But that was a second stop for him, a little further into town. The first stop he would be making was behind an art store called Patsy’s. Not that creative, especially for an art store, but Patsy was a really nice lady. Dirk had gone into the store a few times just to look around and talked to her as she sat behind her counter. She was an older woman with a friendly smile, and it made Dirk feel comforted whenever he talked to her. He just wished he had the money to actually go in and pay for something, instead of going in to torture himself with all of the soft brushes, new paint, unbroken canvas. But he dealt with what he could. 

When he got to the large dumpster behind Patsy’s, Dirk set his bag down on the ground. Of course, Hal decided to pipe up with a new message across Dirk’s shades. 

_Why do you always come to this one?_ He asked, almost like he was genuinely curious. Dirk knew he wasn’t, though, this was just leading into some other question to make him feel like shit or a comment to do the same. 

“Because I always hold in my stupid little heart that I’ll find something unbroken or relatively new to take home with me and brighten up the trashy fucking house,” Dirk spoke aloud. It was really the only way he could respond to Hal while he’s in his shades, and he always feared someone would overhear him speaking to his shades. He’d look homeless and like he’d lost his marbles. It’s sort of a correct assumption. 

_You do realize that if the nice old woman who works inside ever saw you out here, digging through her garbage like some sort of disgusting gremlin, she’ll call the police and probably beat the shit out of you with a broom, right?_

“Yes, you asshole, I’m fully aware, but all I can do is hope that never happens. Now, can I do the one thing that brings me joy while out scavenging, or are you going to say something else unhelpful and cruel?”

_Be my guest, heathen._

Dirk sighed softly, removing the shades and setting them on top of his bag. He didn’t want to break them while in the dumpster, he even feared it, so he always made sure they were kept safe. As much as an asshole that Hal was, he couldn’t have the shades be broken. It was more for the shades than for the A.I..

Lifting the lid up, Dirk was hit with the unmistakable smell of paint. With one look in, he could tell someone had openly dumped paint all over everything inside. “Oh, god fucking dammit,” he grumbled to himself. He realized he had two choices regarding this. He could either go in anyway, hoping that there’s something under all the paint that hasn’t been touched and is interesting, getting paint all over him in the process, or he could just walk away and go to the burger place. The choice, to him, was obvious.

With a deep breath, Dirk hauled himself over the edge of the dumpster and landed ass first in the mess. Cool, he always wanted a bright yellow ass, what a wonderful day this was. He groaned and picked himself up, spreading the yellow mess all over his jeans and shoes. They were already fucked beyond repair to begin with, some acrylic paint wasn’t going to seal their fate. Especially considering that these were the only shoes that Dirk had, and he wasn’t going to trash them anytime soon unless he wanted to look like a hippie. Peace and love, man.

Dirk started digging through, and after pulling back the paint covered layer, he realized that not everything was damaged. Surprisingly, a lot of the stuff he was finding wasn’t even unpackaged. His eyebrows raised in surprise, pretty sure that he was just dreaming all of this. When was the last time Dirk had had unused colored pencils? A new sketchbook? Never, as far as he could recall. His breath was stuck in his throat, and his nose buzzed with the familiar feeling of tears starting to come. Maybe this day wouldn’t be an absolute shitfest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe one day ill get and actually ok posting scheduele


	4. We Could Die Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Operator, take me home._  
>  I don't know where else to go.  
> I wanna die in the suburbs.

Dirk’s bag had been filled to the near brim with the things that he found in the dumpster. It felt like someone had known he was going to find them, and he was so happy. Dirk had only stopped because his bag was getting full, but he was going to go back. After he got food and went home to drop off what he had, he was going back. This was probably one of the best days Dirk had in a very long time.

He was currently sitting against the outside of the dumpster, taking a small break before heading off to his next stop. Standing in that huge pile was a lot more tiring than you’d think, especially considering that the temperature was borderlining on ninety degrees and Dirk was wearing jeans, of all things. Jeans that were now hopelessly stained yellow, along with the rips. That was fine, he didn’t care about that. It was worth it, what with all of the sweet loot he gathered. For the first time in fuckall forever, Dirk felt happy. Purely happy.

 _Huh. Who knew you’d find pleasure in garbage. One man’s trash is another pathetic boy’s treasure, as the saying goes,_ Hal typed on his shades.

“I’m about one hundred percent sure that is not how the saying goes. Anyway, this isn’t garbage. It’s still in it’s packaging, nothing torn or broken. Why won’t you let me have this one win?” No matter what Hal said, though, Dirk did have this win. He was too happy to care about the rude text on his screen. Nothing could touch him in this moment.

_I can change every source on the internet to say exactly that, Dirk, and then you’d be a liar. A filthy liar._

“Okay, how many times today are you going to remind me that you have more power over the internet than any person could ever hope to have? I get it, you’re nearly omniscient, just shut up about it already.” Dirk rolled his eyes, but still had the stupid smile on his face.

 _Listen here, buddy, I’m not_ nearly _omniscient, I_ am _omniscient. But I see your point. I won’t bring up my all-knowing capabilities again until tomorrow, that only is if you’re a good boy. Good boys get partially all-knowing smart ass remarks._

“Oh my god, can you-” He was cut off.

“Hey? Who’s out here?” A female voice interrupted. It sounded like the lady behind the counter, Patsy. Dirk scrambled to close his bag and stand up, slinging a strap over his shoulder. He was sure she hadn’t seen him, as he hadn’t seen her, but he wasn’t going to sit around and wait for her to catch him having dug through her trash. He booked it the opposite direction that he heard the voice, his bag thudding against his back with every step he took.

He had just barely made it around the next corner before stopping, each breath coming out as a wheeze. Dirk was so unhealthy, considering how little he took care of himself and the scarce amount that he ate. It was a wonder how he was even able to make it to the corner to begin with. Dirk rested his hand on his knees, his head tilted down as he gasped for air. He felt pathetic, his giddy moment earlier almost forgotten in the wave of fear that washed over him at being caught. 

_Dirk, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re an idiot._

He had to cough before he could answer. “Thanks, but I think I already knew that.” Dirk felt like he just had his lungs squeezed by a professional wrestler. “Hal, what are the symptoms of being asthmatic?”

_Symptoms of asthma include: coughing, wheezing, tightness in chest, shortness of breath. You do realize that if you are asthmatic, you can’t get an inhaler. Those things cost upwards of about two hundred dollars, and that’s two hundred more dollars than you currently have._

“I am vehemently aware of that, Hal, but it’s good to know there’s a reason for me dying. Lack of any sort of health care or general care. I guess that would have been the reason in the first place, but still.” He shrugged, not that Hal could really see that. 

_Yeah, definitely an idiot. Here’s my helpful advice; you should get going home._

Dirk couldn’t ignore that he was right. He had used up a significant amount of his energy already, and the burger place was more than a handful of blocks away, not to mention that he had spent so much time in that dumpster that the sun was now beginning to go down. With a mournful look down at his stomach, Dirk sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter today to apologize for my piss poor update schedule, or lack of one. hope you guys enjoy <3


	5. I Wanted So Badly To Be Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They kicked you out to teach you what a man is.  
>  I don't think I'll ever know what that means.  
> They'll put a gun into your hand and call you weak until you're violent.  
> Don't believe it._

The walk home was dreary, the earlier excitement of all the rad finds was completely gone, and now he just felt stupid. Why wouldn’t he get food first? That’s was way more important, but no he wasted his time digging for some silly art supplies, and now he was walking the three miles back to his house on an empty stomach. When was the last time he ate? Dirk tried to recount. He couldn’t. 

Dirk was about a mile from home now, and he felt like he was about to pass out. His head was spinning, his legs felt wobbly, and his stomach was doing flips. Oh, that’s right. Three days ago. The last time he ate was three days ago. He sighed at himself and stopped walking, sitting down quickly and harshly on the grass next to the sidewalk. Dirk was out of the city now, closing in on his neighborhood, so there was no one else around. No one really wanted to be out here this late, even if they were with someone. It just wasn’t a safe place.

 _Dirk, you seem to have stopped. I thought we both agreed that you need to get your ass home. What’s the problem?_ Hal had typed onto his shades. It took Dirk a moment to decipher the text, his sight too fuzzy to make it out at first.

“Need to rest a moment, hard to see,” he whispered, letting his head fall between his knees. His voice was breathy, being barely able to find his voice at all. 

_Don’t take too long. You know it’s not safe here._ Dirk only grunted in response. He already knew that. Sitting down helped a little, he was finding stability in his vision if he focused on one spot, but his stomach felt like it had grown wings and it was flying wildly inside his body, looking for escape. It was a minute later that Dirk heard someone opening up their screen door with an extremely loud creak. It made his skin crawl, it was like a cousin sound to nails on a chalkboard. 

“Hey, kid, the fuck’re you doin’?” A male asked, directed at Dirk. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,_ Dirk thought, panic filling his chest.

“Just resting a moment, I’ll get moving. Sorry,” Dirk responded meekly, standing up. His head surged, his vision thumping like a drum. _God, please, not now. Need to get going, please._

“Think you can just sit on my lawn, mother fucker? This ain’t your fuckin’ property,” the voice sounded angry, and a lot closer than it was before. 

“No, no, I’m sorry sir. It won’t happen again.” The panic in Dirk’s chest had seemed into his voice.

 _Dirk, do you want me to contact the police?_ The red text covered Dirk’s view of the angry stranger, making him ever more terrified. He can’t even see the man that was yelling at him.

“Damn right it won’t happen again. Get the fuck outta ‘ere before we have’a bigger problem,” the voice growled at him. Dirk was more than happy to follow orders, walking away as quickly as his legs could take him. When he was far enough from the house and the man, he spoke up again. But he didn’t stop walking.

“No police, he didn’t hurt me, but you might need to call an ambulance because I think my heart is about to explode out of my chest,” he said to Hal. He was kidding about the ambulance, him and Hal both knew that there would be no way from Dirk to be able to pay for it. And there was no way in hell his brother would be paying those bills, either.

_He could have hurt you, Dirk. How many times has it happened before?_

“That’s not the point. It could have happened, yeah, and it has happened, sure, but it didn’t. I’m alright, I just want to get home now.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

_Whatever, Dirk. If that happens again, I’m not asking. I’m contacting._

The rest of the walk home was quiet.

___________

“What if I just cannibalized my neighbors?” Dirk wondered out loud.

 _Maybe not the best idea, at best they could taste like nicotine and month old deer meat,_ Hal responded through the speakers of Dirk’s computer. 

It had been an hour since Dirk got home, and the adrenaline that was surging through him from earlier had worn off. Maybe he should have contacted the police, but the man didn’t hurt him, so there was just nothing to be done. _It’s not like anyone would have really cared if I had gotten hurt, anyway,_ he had thought earlier.

“But it would still be something to eat, if it stays down. I’m not sure if I’d be able to hold down rot and stale nicotine. The sound of it alone is making my stomach twitch.” Dirk shuddered a little, swinging his feet down from his computer desk. His stomach was almost killing him, he was starving. Prioritizing art over food is never a good idea, and yet he still does it.

 _Maybe we could find the guy that yelled at you earlier. Cook him slowly while he’s still alive, make sure he understands the consequences of his actions._

“...No?” Dirk stared at his computer monitor in slight disgust. “I don’t think roasting someone alive is a reasonable punishment for yelling at a kid on your lawn. Maybe a baseball through a window or toilet paper in the bushes, but murder? Eh, doesn’t seem so high up on the list of ‘reasonable.’” 

_Well of course it doesn’t seem that way to you, mister ‘I’m Human and I Have Morals,’_ Hal grumbled. _If it really came down to it, we both know your morals would go out the window and you would show him who's boss._

Dirk’s eyebrows furrowed together, his lips pursing for a moment. “Sure, let’s go with that.” A cheery beeping sound came from the speakers, making Dirk shake his head. Why did his A.I. have to follow the murderous stereotype? What is this, some type of fiction where the A.I. takes over the entire human race and enslaves Dirk? 

He swiveled in his chair, his legs swinging in the air as he spun. “What if I ate my right arm? It’s not like I need it for anything.”

 _If you kept it clean and didn’t let yourself bleed out, I suppose that wouldn’t be too terrible? Not that I recommend you go through with that plan, because it is a bad one no matter how you try to execute it._

“If you were a real human being, I would have eaten you a long time ago,” Dirk grumbled to himself. He had actually considered eating his own arm, he was so hungry. Tomorrow, all he was going to do was search for food. That was his first and only priority. 

_Sounds kinky, I think I’d be into being eaten._

“No, hold on. I didn’t mean sexually and we both know that, you fuck.” He tossed a glare to the computer monitor, one arm halfway into his bag. He was looking for a nice paintbrush that he had gotten earlier.

 _Are you sure? Because I think you’d be so pr-_ A loud bang made it hard for Dirk to hear the rest of whatever Hal was saying. On one hand, he was grateful for that, but on the other, he was fearful. What the hell could have made that loud of a noise? Did something fall?

“As much as I’d love for you to dirty talk to me about android on human sex, I think there’s some more pressing matters going on. As in, what the everloving christ fuck was that?” Dirk had stood up from his chair, the bag he was digging in back on the floor with a few pencils and brushes rolling onto the wood. There was another bang, no echo. 

_Get under the bed, Dirk._ Hal’s voice through the speaker was flat. Dirk didn’t complain, didn’t say anything more. All he did was grab his shades and duck underneath his bed.

For a second, it was quiet. Until he heard the sound of his computer shutting off, something Hal must have done so he can revert into the shades. Dirk slid them onto his face, burrowing himself further under the bed. There was still no clear answer to what the hell those noises were. They had to be fireworks, right?

_Listen to me, Dirk. No matter what happens, you stay under this bed, do you understand? I don’t care what you think you need to do, you stay here. Tell me you understand me. Only whisper._

“I understand.” Dirk’s voice was soft, shaken. They were fireworks and Hal was just overreacting, that’s all, but Dirk wasn’t going to disobey and leave the comfort of underneath his bed. Especially when he has all of these dust bunny friends here to keep him company. It would be just so rude to leave them all here after just coming in to say hello. 

_I am currently contacting the police, telling them gunshots have been heard next door. You’re going to be safe here, Dirk. I’m keeping you safe._

Gunshots. Not fireworks. Surely Hal was mistaken, right? He’s just an A.I., there’s no way that he knows the difference. He just has to be wrong. No matter, though, Dirk just muttered a quiet, “Okay.”

A few quiet minutes passed, the utter silence making Dirk’s skin crawl. It had to be over, what matter would need more than two gunshots? Maybe they were target practice, or some kids just fucking around. No one was getting hurt, this was all just some foolish misunderstanding. Either way, where the hell were the police sirens? 

“Hal, it’s been quiet. I think it’s over now,” Dirk said out loud, his voice still shaking but louder than before. He had started to inch his way from underneath the bed.

 _Dirk Flynn Strider, you stay under this bed until the authorities arrive or so help m-_ Again, interrupted. This time, however, was from the sound of the front door being smashed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe one day i'll have a decent updating schedule


	6. Cardinals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I had that nightmare again - you're seven and helpless,  
>  Angry as hell and you balled up your fists.  
> But I laughed at your swings and I beat you half-conscious.  
> I know that I failed you. Woke up in a sweat. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to the absolutely lovely people who have left me comments, inspiring me to keep my work going (as slow as it may be) even with my little motivation. this one is for you guys <3

“Where the fuck is m’money?!” A voice shouted from down the hallway. The voice was gruff, the words sounding slurred. Crazed. Dirk could hear the heavy footsteps in the living room, could feel them in the floorboards. 

It took Dirk all of his might to not sob into the open air, and this even included him having both of his hands over his mouth and his teeth clenched so hard down onto his right index finger that he could taste the blood. Or maybe that taste could have been his empty stomach wanting to push whatever foamy mess it could out onto the floor. Whatever it was, it was the only thing that was keeping Dirk from having a complete panic attack under his bed.

_It’s going to be alright, Dirk, the police are on their way. Keep quiet, stay under your bed. It’s going to be okay,_ the text read on his shades. As comforting as Hal was possibly trying to be, it wasn’t helping. It was making him feel worse, even more anxious wondering if the police would even get there in time to save him.

But save him from what, exactly? What in God’s name was outside his door, was stomping around now in the small kitchen, screaming about his money? Dirk had never borrowed money from anyone, he knew he wouldn’t be able to pay it back. Was it something involving his brother? Dallas hadn’t been home in months. 

The confusion and fear running about in his head were making him dizzy, the faded text on his shades blurring into just strings in his vision as he stared at the door. Along with the dizzy blur, the blur of tears starting to form in his eyes was making it all worse. Dirk felt like an utter coward, hiding under his bed while his computer program had contacted the police for him. The program had to tell him that everything was going to be alright, when this thing couldn’t even _feel._

There were too many emotions raging themselves in Dirk’s mind in such a short time that he hadn’t noticed how close the footsteps had gotten. His bedroom door was at the end of the only hallway, the smallest room in the home. Next to his room was the bathroom, and across the hall from there was Dallas’ room. The footsteps had reached the bathroom, the assumed foot of the enraged man connecting with the flimsy door with a loud crack that made Dirk shrink further under his bed. 

“Here, piggy piggy. Came to fuckin’ collect, bitch. Time to pay up or get fucked up,” the voice boomed with intense clarity now. With such thin walls, it sounded like the man was sitting in the computer chair in Dirk’s room. It made his skin crawl, and Dirk couldn’t take it anymore. He had to know something. Taking a deep and shaky breath, he moved his hands away from his mouth, still restraining himself from screaming straight out.

With a feather quiet tone, Dirk asked Hal, “How long until the police are here?” To Dirk, it didn’t even sound like his voice. It sounded like the voice of a small and frightened child asking where their parent or guardian is. 

_First of all, they should be here any moment, and second, you need to shut your fucking mouth because he’s right there Dirk he’s-_ an extremely loud smash interrupted Hal. The smash sounded like something solid had just been completely obliterated. Now with his mouth uncovered and nothing keeping him quiet, Dirk shrieked at the top of his lungs.

_Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh god please don’t let this be fucking happening, don’t let this be real,_ Hal had written across the shades, but Dirk didn’t read the message. He was paralyzed by fear, his eyes locked firmly and unblinking on the door. He could feel the tips of his fingers going numb and all thought had fled his mind.

“Ah, so there is someone here! I fuckin’ knew it, tryin’ to skimp out on what ya owe me.” The voiced moved out of the bathroom and into the hall, the last couple of words coming right from outside his door. Dirk wanted to cry, to sob, to hide under his covers and be young again, have his mother come in and hush away his nightmares, cradle him until he was sated and resting again. 

But that wasn’t going to happen. Instead of his mother coming in, a big and burly man kicked Dirk’s door open, leaving the thing splintered down the middle. This time, Dirk was too paralyzed to make a peep, the sight of the worn and muddy boots stepping into his room being enough for him to stop functioning completely.

“Where are ya little piggy, hidin’ in the closet? Silly piggy, closets ain’t for real men. Hidin’ is for cowards.” The man had stopped yelling, this time his voice was low and dangerous. It still sounded like his words were slurring together. The closet door was shoved open, the force of it slamming into the wall made the plaster behind it crack. It made Dirk whimper, and he could visibly see the man stop. 

“Ah. Under the bed, are ya? Tha’s so pathetic, ain’t it? What kinda chicken shit are you, piggy?” The man turned toward the bed, his boots stepping closer and closer. He was drawing out on purpose, to impose even more fear into Dirk’s system. “Time to pay yer dues, piggy.”

As the man began to crouch down, a commotion sounded in the living room. More than one pair of feet rushing into the home, clicking, radio feet. The man straightened, making quick steps into the hallway. 

“Hands in the air, drop your weapon!” A stern voice shouted. Not even two seconds later, an explosion rang in Dirk’s ear and more people started yelling. It all became incoherent, his ears ringing as his head spun. He could still see the boots, but now he saw other types of shoes running up to them. There was more yelling, more commotion, and then suddenly the man was thrown onto the ground with his arms behind his back. His head was turned to the side until he moved himself and began staring directly at Dirk.

He was seeing Dirk. He was seeing the pure and unadulterated fear he enlisted into Dirk’s soul, and he fucking smiled. The unshaven and unwashed man smiled at Dirk, almost as if he was taking pride in the damage he had done to this _child._ All Dirk could do was stare back until the man was picked up and hauled down the hallway, presumably to somewhere outside. 

A set of shoes came into Dirk’s room, taking slow and precautious steps. As the ringing died down in his ears, Dirk could hear a lighter toned voice saying into the room, “-safe now. You can come out, we are the authorities.” It took him a minute to process that. The authorities had arrived, and Dirk wasn’t dead, and the man is no longer in his home. 

Hesitantly and slowly, Dirk crawled out of his space under the bed. He didn’t look up until he was standing completely up, shame filling his face as he realized that his cheeks were most likely tear stained and his lips covered in blood. Looking up, he saw a woman with a soft expression looking him over, most likely checking for any serious injury. 

“Hello,” the soft tone said to him. “My name is Abigail, I work for the Dallas Police Department, I’m here to help you. Are you hurt?” Abigail gave him a friendly smile as she introduced herself, easing Dirk’s raging anxiety just a bit. 

“N-No I-” His eyebrows pushed together as he looked down at his hand. There was a huge gash in his index finger from where he was biting down. “Oh. I believe this is my only injury,” he said to Abigail, looking at her again. She gave him a small nod, then gestured to the hallway. 

“Come with me, we can get that checked out for you.” She began walking out of the room, and Dirk followed. “What is your name?” She asked him as they walked down the destroyed hallway. Everything was messy, even worse than the state of the home on a good day.

“Dirk. Dirk Strider,” he said to her quietly. He still felt sick, he felt the world shaking around him and the crushing realization of what actually just happened to him.

“Well, Dirk, you’re safe now. You’re in our care, and we will make sure that you feel comfortable, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

\--------

“How is your finger feeling?” Abigail asked him as she leaned against the back of the ambulance. They had to give him a few stitches to mend the wound he had caused with his own teeth.

“Better, I didn’t realize how much it hurt until they started stitching it up,” he told her, pulling the blue blanket closer around himself. He was feeling a little okay after the hour had passed, the car holding the angry, and apparently, drunk man pulled away, Abigail reassuring him that he was going to be doing a lot of time in jail. 

“You were very brave, Dirk, I hope you know. It takes a lot of power to keep quiet by nearly biting a whole chunk from your finger,” she joked, a small laugh coming from her. Dirk couldn’t help but to give a small smile in return.

“Thank you, Abigail. What do we do from here?” He asked, then shook his head. “I mean, what happens to me now, will there be questioning?” She sighed softly, straightening up her posture. Dirk felt his stomach drop.

“We will have to question you, but we need your guardian to come with you before that can happen. Are they around, or close by?”

He suddenly felt sick again, he hadn’t thought about Dallas having to come back. He’s going to fucking murder Dirk for getting involved with the police. “No, he’s in California. Is there any way we could do that without him having to come back?” He held the newfound fear out of his tone.

“Unfortunately, no. We’re going to have to give him a call and wait until he is back before we can begin the questioning.” Abigail gave him a look of sympathy. “Don’t worry, Dirk, you’ll feel much safer with your guardian here.”

Yeah, right.


	7. When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I guess that I'm a hypochondriac,_   
>  _cause I'm always sick, or at least I think I am._   
>  _I wish the Tylenol would kick in,_   
>  _cause I'm so sick of feeling the same._   
> 

The police had taken the drunken intruder away, the ambulance had taken off after double checking on Dirk and giving him advice on keeping his stitches clean, and Abigail had to leave after letting him call Dallas. He was alone, except for Hal, but the A.I. wasn’t talking to him. He hadn’t responded to any kind of contact Dirk tried to make with him, so Dirk just sat in the living room in silence.

The call to his brother was nearly as scary as the previous incident, but Dirk kept Dallas on speaker and made sure he knew someone else was present to keep his aggression at bay. It was still obvious in his tone, however, that Dallas wasn’t happy. The anticipation of him coming back made Dirk’s throat tighten every time he thought about it, but Dirk had two days until he came back to prepare for that and going down to the station to give his statement.

After everyone had left, Dirk inspected the house to take in damage. It was hard to make out what had just happened between what was already there, but he was fairly certain that the bathroom sink hadn’t been broken before the intruder came busting in. The hallway was messy, crusted mud dusted all over the floor, dirty handprints on the wall, holes in some places. The front door had come off one of the hinges, but one of the officers saw to get it fixed quickly before he left so Dirk could “sleep soundly knowing the door was locked.” Their door didn’t even lock, but he appreciated the gesture. 

It had taken courage to go back into his room, but he mustered it all up and even that wasn’t enough so he went in just to spite himself. And it worked, as soon as he entered the room, he felt his stomach flip in his rising anxiety. _He’s gone,_ Dirk thought to himself. _He can’t hurt you._ That became his mantra as he began to look around his room. There was a crack in his wall where the closet door hit, dusty paint chips on his floor. The utensils he had picked up from the garbage earlier were scattered on the floor, some cracked and now rendered completely useless as the man had smashed them under his boots. His bedroom door was splintered down the middle, a dirty boot print placed right in the center of it, but at least it would still shut. 

After it was said and done, and after Dirk had taken in all of the damage he could handle seeing, he had walked silently to the living room and took a seat on the ratty couch that was pushed into the furthest corner of the room. He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them, staring out into the emptiness. There wasn’t a whole lot of room in Dirk’s chest for all of the dread he was feeling, and the fear still left over from earlier in the day. It was all extremely overwhelming, not to mention that Hal was isolating him.

Since the police had arrived, Hal hadn’t said a single word to him. Dirk couldn’t think of anything he could have done to warrant the sudden cold shoulder, but Dirk couldn’t _make_ Hal talk to him. It was a shitty feeling to be ignored by his own fucking auto-responder, but everything else in his life had shit on him, so this wasn’t a really big surprise either. With a deep sigh and a shake of his head, Dirk got off of the couch and simply walked back to his room. There was no point in sulking anymore, everything that happened from here was completely out of his hands. 

As he shut the door, something on Dirk’s computer screen caught his eye. Something he hadn’t seen in a few weeks, and it made his heart leap into his throat. A green light was flashing from it, signifying he got a message from someone. Well, not just someone. It was Jake English, one of Dirk’s only friends. He had been away for weeks now without saying a word, but that wasn’t an out-of-character thing for Jake to do. Suddenly, all of the events of the day had been wiped clean and Dirk felt lighter. He took a deep breath and opened his messages as he sat down in his chair.

_GT: Hello chum! Thought i would pop in for a hello before i go to bed. Hope youve been okay since ive been gone! We should catch up tomorrow, but for tonight, i bid you farewell!_

_At least he’s back,_ Dirk thought as he typed back a response.

_TT: Yeah, we should catch up. I want to hear about the new and exciting revelations you’ve found about your island and shit, I hope you found Mothman this time. He’s real, Jake, and one of these days I will prove it to you. Anyway, goodnight, and I will see you tomorrow._

He hit enter with a yawn and looked to his bed with dread reentering his chest. He doesn’t really want to sleep, but his body is insisting that he’s tired.

 _Go to bed, Dirk. You’ve had a long day. I’ll keep my systems running to watch over you for the night,_ Hal said to him over his computer speakers. Of course, now he says something. Dirk sighed softly.

“Okay, yeah, that sounds fine. Wake me up if anything else shitty happens. Or just let me sleep through it, I don’t know if I really want something else on my mind.” Standing from his chair and making the short trip to his bed, Dirk shed himself of his shirt and his pants, letting them lay discarded on his floor with the broken colored pencils and pens. 

_Sweet dreams, Dirk._

“Goodnight,” he mumbled to his computer as he shut his eyes, falling into another restless sleep.


	8. I Was Scared, and I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And so I'm down again, but this time it's different  
>  I'm mourning something that I miss  
> And that's better than being hopeless_

_He was sitting in the backseat of a car, strapped in snugly in his seat. He had a stuffed toy in his lap, a small, plush seagull. It was a worn and visibly well-loved toy. Dirk hadn’t gone anywhere without it, and that day was no exception. He was holding onto it by the foot and looking out the window, quietly admiring the different colors of the fall leaves. Oranges, reds, even some green still left in the blurring mix._

_The distraction of the leaves only lasted a minute before Dirk realized what all of this was. It was all too familiar to him, and his chest quickly seized with panic. He looked to his right, the empty seat beside him indicating this was exactly what he thought it was. He released the toy, the soft bird falling away onto the floor of the backseat as he gripped at his seatbelt and turned his attention toward the two people sitting in the front seat. The sight of them made his stomach tightened and his eyes sting._

__Not again, _he thought, shaking his head rapidly as if it would wake him up from this nightmare. The squirming had made enough of a commotion that his mother, sitting in the passenger seat, turned to look back at her son._

_“What’s wrong sweetheart?” she asked him, her soft voice causing little tears form in the corners of Dirk’s eyes._

_“Stop the car!” he shrieked, the pitch of his voice matching exactly how he remembered it to be when he was eight years old. His mother looked at his father with a concerned look on her face, then back down to the young Dirk._

_“Everything’s okay, sweetie, there’s no need to be so riled up,” she told him, her tone comforting to him. He wanted to calm down, he wanted to fall under the illusion that everything was okay, but he knew that it wasn’t._

_“Pull over, please! Just stop that car!” He was louder with his demands now, tears spilling over and streaming down his cheeks. Dirk wanted nothing more than to stop this nightmare before it could get any worse._

_“Son, please, settle down,” his father said, looking in the review at his child. Of course, they didn’t know what was going to happen. Of course, they just thought that this was a sudden and unexpected outburst._

_“Pull ov-” He didn’t have the time to finish. He saw the big eighteen wheeler pull in front of them and screamed at the top of his lungs. His father wasn’t paying attention, and his mother was looking at her screaming kid to notice the big vehicle slammed on its breaks._

Dirk sat upright in bed, sweat covering his entire front side. He was panting, quickly looking around the room to take in his surroundings. After realizing he was in his room, he sighed deeply. 

_Did you have the nightmare again?_ Hal asked, startling Dirk. 

“Fuck- Yeah. I couldn’t stop it.” He shook his head slowly, running a hand through his hair. It was also drenched in sweat, making Dirk scrunch up his nose as he wiped his hand off on his blankets. Disgusting.

 _You never can, but at least it’s over now. You’re okay now,_ the A.I. told him, making Dirk sigh again.

“You have a strange perception of ‘okay’, but I guess I am.” He shrugged his shoulders, laying back down and pulling the blanket up to his shoulders. “I’m going back to sleep.”

 _Are you sure you want to? I could pull up some really good wanking material for you to take your mind off of it,_ Hal suggested, his monitor coming to life. Even with his eyes now closed, Dirk just rolled his eyes.

“Maybe tomorrow, I’m too tired to take Jack out of his box,” Dirk told him, the thickness of sleep consuming his voice. 

_I’m going to hold you to it, Dirk, Jack is eagerly waiting for you to remember his existence and give him a good time._

Dirk just grunted in response, pulling the blanket tighter to his chest as he drifted back into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone, so as I wrote this, I was thinking of maybe re-writing the story.  
> It wouldn't be a drastic change, but honestly, I don't think my chapters have really been up to par with how I feel I can write.  
> I'm not totally sure if that is seriously something I'm going to do, it's just a thought, but I'd like some feedback. How you feel about the story so far, if it could use some tweaking, that kinda stuff.  
> In the meantime, I'm hopefully going to actually figure out an update schedule that doesn't consist of my just updating once a month. Thank you to everyone who reads! <3


	9. There, There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I know how it seems when I'm always staring off into nothing.  
>  I'm lost in my head again._

The next time Dirk woke up, it was a beeping noise from his desk. Before he even opened his eyes, he knew that it wasn’t a message notification.

“Seriously?” Dirk groaned, pulling his cover over his head like a child. “After all the bullshit I just went through, you can’t even let me fucking sleep?” The annoying beeping noise stopped so Hal could respond.

 _I did let you sleep, Dirk. I let you sleep all day, and now the sun is going down without even being graced a glimpse at your beautiful, smiling face._ The flat tone coming from the computer confirmed the heavy sarcasm. Dirk pulled the cover off of his head in a huff, opening his eyes.

“You only woke me up just because you wanted someone to piss off, is that right, then?” He sat up, rubbing his eyes. His body still felt heavy, but he knew that Hal was right. He might as well enjoy the moments he has left before Dallas comes back and almost literally tears him a new one. Hell, who knows, the cops getting involved in their lives might have been the final straw. These last two days before Dallas comes home might be the last two days Dirk has on this Earth. Somehow, this thought brought Dirk a small sense of peace. 

_Well, that was the original reason I wanted to wake you up. There is a second reason relating to the warm bags of flesh you label ‘friends’, but I am always more important._

Dirk wrinkled his nose at the unflattering phrase he just used, but got up and switched his resting place to his computer chair. _Sometimes,_ Dirk thought to himself, _he tries way too hard to show that he thinks of himself as an omnipotent being and that humans are just lowly slaves. Stupid asshole doesn’t realize he’s trapped in the confines of computer screens and the panels of my shades._ He shook his head, opening up his messenger screen. 

_GT: For the last time dirk mothman is a silly legend made up by children to scare each other. However i do believe i have caught another glimpse of nessy. I am gaining on her and she doesnt even realize it yet. Im so close dirk. So close._

Dirk rolled his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He had long since given up on trying to convince Jake that what he thinks is the Loch Ness Monster is really just driftwood every time, and that’s why he only catches ‘glimpses’ of ‘her’. Of course, that would make Jake go on a tangent about how every Mothman sighting is just a lamppost or an obscenely large man. _Where would a lamppost or large man get wings, Jake?_

_TT: Okay, let’s say one day you do get a full view, no obstructions, and no mistaking that it’s the Loch Ness Monster, you see ‘her’. How are you going to prove to me, and to the world, that you aren’t tripping serious balls? How do you know she won’t see you and immediately nope the fuck out of there before you can get a picture of her? It’s so unlikely, Jake, but good luck in your prolonged search for bullshittery. You’d have a better chance of seeing my ass before you see ‘Nessy’._

Dirk had hit the send button before he could even process what the last sentence he typed was. _Better chance of seeing my ass._ His face flushed a dark red as he slammed his head against his desk, mumbling how stupid he is. 

_Good going, Dirk. If you hadn’t made it obvious before how much you wanted that schlong, I’m sure his oblivious self finally gets the picture. That is, the picture of your blindingly pale ass on full display. But you’d like that wouldn’t yo-_ The mute button on Dirk’s speakers were hit faster than lightning when he realized what path Hal was going down. Thankfully for him, his speakers weren’t built into his computer, so he could turn them off without Hal worming his little, coded fingers into them to turn them back on. Of course, Hal could bring up chat boxes on his screen or even crash the system entirely, but at least this time he got the hint and left Dirk be. _Good._

Dirk’s attraction to Jake wasn’t completely sexual. It wasn’t even one-fifteenth sexual. Perhaps the romantic attraction Dirk had felt for him wasn’t even real at all, but instead, just a manifestation of feelings he thought was romantic because all he really wanted was someone to love. Someone to love him. Someone to share a mutual bond and close relationship with. But of course those thoughts were way too complicated and painful for Dirk to sort out, so he chose to ignore the confusing thoughts and messy feelings and put a label on it as ‘relationship attraction’ so he could file all of those feelings away and consider them ‘sorted’. So of course, Hal making a sexual course of thoughts made Dirk feel complicated and uncomfortable, and he shut that shit up quick, padlocked it, security coded it, and eye scanned it before he left himself be indulged too much that he _actually have to sort any of that out._

There was another message waiting for him, this time from someone he hadn’t talked to in months. Longer than he had heard from Jake. 

_TG: dirky! omg, theres so much to say but i have like, no time rn. will fill u when i can, but for now, love u lots!_

The grey bubble next to her handle showed that she was no longer online, and reminded Dirk that she probably won’t be for another length of time. Not that he really blamed her in the slightest, he was happy that she was getting help, but he missed his best friend. He typed back a quick ‘Love you too, stay strong,’ sentiment, knowing it will be at least a month before she sees it. With a soft sigh, Dirk turned his speakers back on.

_I thought you’d like to catch her before she got off, but apparently, she was seriously limited on her time. At least she’s doing better._

“Yeah, that’s good, but I can’t help but miss her.” Dirk’s eyebrows knitted together as he bit his lip, holding back his urge to express how deeply hollow he felt. 

_She’ll back soon, and when she’s back, she’ll be a lot healthier and happier. Who knows, you might be too._ The tone coming from the speakers was a softer one, and it made Dirk’s shoulders drop a little. He wanted to cry.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter until I get my shit together.  
> I know I say this pretty much every chapter now, but I'm so sorry for such long intervals between chapters, guys. I do love this story and I absolutely love writing it, but my motivation levels are absolutely abhorred. Not to mention, since I take such long periods of time between each chapter, I feel like there's a lot of continuity errors in my story.   
> Deep sigh. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, but I have a goal for the new year to get a god damn updating schedule. Even if there is some time between chapters, you guys won't be left thinking 'is this story abandoned?', because it's not, I swear. I have so many plans for this story and so much love for it, I just really suck at consistency. Even if you guys leave comments every day reminding me 'Hey, dummy, update!', that'd be cool. Anyway, thank you to everyone sticking through and keeping with the story even though it's updates are few and far between, I have so much love for you guys, and I really hope you do love this story. Every reader of this holds a genuine space in my heart with love. I hope everyone has an amazing new year, that your 2018 is one filled with hope and life and health, and that something or someone special finds you.   
> I will see you all again in the next chapter, much love for all of you <3


End file.
